RJMarmol.com

I Live on Raw Emotion.

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Much of what I do in a day may seem routine to the outside world. I wake up, drink coffee, stare blankly into space, contemplate for a few minutes, shower, sing, drop soap, sing again..leave for work, catch a ride, sit (most times — stand), listen to music on my almost 2-year old Sony Ericsson K800i, make myself somehow useful in the office, walk myself to the bus station, sit (sometimes stand), listen to music on my phone again, turn up the volume to tune out the world, stare blankly out the window, grab my “book of the moment“, read a while, stare blankly out the window again, get off that bus, walk myself home, drop my bag, open the desktop/laptop, read emails, read feeds, listen to my blip.fm station, contemplate, write, sleep (repeat from start).

Typical, so it seems. But underneath the typical lies an unusual phenomenon. What happens within is a different story altogether.

You see, in between blinks of my eyes, in between skips of my heartbeat, in between steps — missed or not, in between presses on the keyboard, in between smirks and smiles — are thoughts of how my life would have been different without you. In between coffee sips and handshakes with strangers are flashes and vivid snapshots of the last time I saw you — from your sheepish smile to your weird laugh, from your most profound dissertations to your craziest conspiracy theories — the slightest detail is archived neatly in my memory, frame by frame, playing over and over again, alive and fresh like it was just moments ago. If you only knew all these and believed it to be true..but I just can’t seem to make you believe anything.

There are only a handful of things I regret in my life — things I could have done or done better, things I could have avoided or grabbed right there and then. Things I should have ignored or pondered upon. “If only’s”, “I should have’s”
and “Had I known’s”. Most of those — all of those — about you. But I guess it’s too late for that. “Our lives are defined by opportunities — even those that we miss”, so it says in a movie.

And now it’s gone. You’re gone. I weep over all the lost chances. My heart gets crushed each time I’m reminded of past mistakes. All is lost now. And all that’s left for me to hold on to are these raw emotions and the memories that evoke them every waking hour of this seemingly typical life I live.

● About Me
Cecilia Regina Aquino Blanquera Marmol aka RJ Marmol profile picture

I’m RJ Marmol — writer, musician, and independent creator based in Manila.

I write songs, essays, and books about the messy overlap between money, overwhelm, creativity, identity, and rebuilding. Much of my work circles around what happens when life stops feeling manageable — and how we try to think clearly, make decisions, and keep moving anyway.

I’m also the author of Rebuilding Under Debt: Thinking Clearly When Everything Is a Blur, a nonfiction book published under Steady Hand Press. The paperback edition is listed under my full publishing name, Cecilia Regina Aquino Blanquera.

On the music side, I release work as HeyRJ. On the writing side, this site is where I gather my books, essays, notes, and whatever I’m building next.

Music

HeyRJ is my sonic soul project. I create raw, minimalist-style and deeply personal music interpretations that feel like a late-night conversation with your truest self.

By blending lo-fi acoustic textures with poetic honesty, my work explores love, loss, grief, healing, and the quiet in-betweens of life. Each song is a letter — a journal entry — a gentle companion for when the world feels too loud or too quiet.

While my catalogue began with intimate cover renditions, my work is increasingly being shaped by original writing, drawing from years of poems, lived questions, and emotional survival.

“Stuck Home Syndrome” released on March 20, 2026 is my first original 20-track album written during a period when time felt compressed and days began to blur into each other. The songs came from sitting with thoughts that had nowhere else to go — unfiltered, repetitive, and sometimes uncomfortable. It’s a concept album that isn’t built around singles or polish. It’s closer to a continuous inner monologue, recorded with minimal production and very little ornamentation and meant to be listened to as one cohesive body of work. The goal wasn’t to resolve anything, only to document how it felt while it was happening.

On May 29, 2026 I released new original singles – “Rapturous”, “Uh Huh”, “Look At You”, “All That” and “Blew Print”. I continue to release both original and cover songs and intend to so for as long as I can so check back every once in a while — you might. just find something you’ll like.

For business inquiries relating to music, email me at: heyrjmusic[at]gmail[dot]com or my personal email at: rjmarmol[at]gmail[dot]com.

Books

Rebuilding Under Debt: Thinking Clearly When Everything Is a Blur

A nonfiction book about what debt does to the mind — and how to begin functioning again when financial stress has made everything feel blurred, urgent, and overwhelming.

Rather than treating debt only as a financial math problem, the book explores the emotional and cognitive realities of financial distress: shame, decision fatigue, avoidance, panic, relationship strain, and the difficulty of making sound decisions while mentally depleted.

Published under Steady Hand Press. It’s available worldwide in ebook and paperback formats on Amazon. Bookstores and libraries can also be order it wholesale via Ingram.

Contact

For book-related inquiries, media requests, bookstore questions, or discussion-group invitations, you can reach me through the contact page on this site or send me an email to rjmarmol[at]gmail[dot]com or hello[at]steadyhandpress.com

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