Tease and Deny


Tease and Deny

by: rj

 

How many days does it take, for a waiting period to be considered hopeless to make?

How many promises broken, before we decide it’s just useless or stolen?

Why do you tease? Tease and deny? Does it make you feel better? I don’t know about you but it makes me cry.

How many messages, exchanged and misconstrued, does it take to conclude

That all is wasted, all is lost, and that one or both is actually up to no good?

Why do you tease? Tease and deny? Does it make you feel better? I don’t know about you but it makes me cry

How many tries does it take before we give up on success,

And take all that happens as nothing but a huge mess?

How many times must a mistake be forgiven before we say, “I’m done with this. I’ve had it, It’s over.”?

I’ve nothing more to give, I’m as empty as an old tavern, there’s nothing else to find out, nothing else to discover?

Why do you tease? Tease and deny? Does it make you feel better? I don’t know about you but it makes me cry.

Why do you tease and deny? Can’t you see it makes me cry.

Are we standing here forever, until the water runs dry?

I know you want it, but why can’t you make it?

I know you’ll love it, but why can’t I stake it?

Don’t tease and deny, relieve this hunger.

Don’t tease and deny, that is my fervent prayer.

Don’t tease and deny, remember that we have forever.

Don’t tease and deny, don’t retreat, don’t surrender.

Let me know what you think… :)

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About Me
Cecilia Regina Aquino Blanquera Marmol aka RJ Marmol profile picture

I’m RJ Marmol — writer, musician, and independent creator based in Manila.

I write songs, essays, and books about the messy overlap between money, overwhelm, creativity, identity, and rebuilding. Much of my work circles around what happens when life stops feeling manageable — and how we try to think clearly, make decisions, and keep moving anyway.

I’m also the author of Rebuilding Under Debt: Thinking Clearly When Everything Is a Blur, a nonfiction book published under Steady Hand Press. The paperback edition is listed under my full publishing name, Cecilia Regina Aquino Blanquera.

On the music side, I release work as HeyRJ. On the writing side, this site is where I gather my books, essays, notes, and whatever I’m building next.

Music

HeyRJ is my sonic soul project. I create raw, minimalist-style and deeply personal music interpretations that feel like a late-night conversation with your truest self.

By blending lo-fi acoustic textures with poetic honesty, my work explores love, loss, grief, healing, and the quiet in-betweens of life. Each song is a letter — a journal entry — a gentle companion for when the world feels too loud or too quiet.

While my catalogue began with intimate cover renditions, my work is increasingly being shaped by original writing, drawing from years of poems, lived questions, and emotional survival.

“Stuck Home Syndrome” released on March 20, 2026 is my first original 20-track album written during a period when time felt compressed and days began to blur into each other. The songs came from sitting with thoughts that had nowhere else to go — unfiltered, repetitive, and sometimes uncomfortable. It’s a concept album that isn’t built around singles or polish. It’s closer to a continuous inner monologue, recorded with minimal production and very little ornamentation and meant to be listened to as one cohesive body of work. The goal wasn’t to resolve anything, only to document how it felt while it was happening.

On May 29, 2026 I released new original singles – “Rapturous”, “Uh Huh”, “Look At You”, “All That” and “Blew Print”. I continue to release both original and cover songs and intend to so for as long as I can so check back every once in a while — you might. just find something you’ll like.

For business inquiries relating to music, email me at: heyrjmusic[at]gmail[dot]com or my personal email at: rjmarmol[at]gmail[dot]com.

Books

Rebuilding Under Debt: Thinking Clearly When Everything Is a Blur

A nonfiction book about what debt does to the mind — and how to begin functioning again when financial stress has made everything feel blurred, urgent, and overwhelming.

Rather than treating debt only as a financial math problem, the book explores the emotional and cognitive realities of financial distress: shame, decision fatigue, avoidance, panic, relationship strain, and the difficulty of making sound decisions while mentally depleted.

Published under Steady Hand Press. It’s available worldwide in ebook and paperback formats on Amazon. Bookstores and libraries can also be order it wholesale via Ingram.

Contact

For book-related inquiries, media requests, bookstore questions, or discussion-group invitations, you can reach me through the contact page on this site or send me an email to rjmarmol[at]gmail[dot]com or hello[at]steadyhandpress.com