How Would You Want To Die, Dear?


How Would You Want To Die, Dear?

by: rj

You’ve always told me it’s not a matter of “how” you die, it’s just a matter of “when”

If that is true, my love, will you answer a question for me then?

If “how” is not important, then it doesn’t matter if one ordinary day, you get run over by a truck?

Or while driving fast on the highway, see a blinding light, collide with another vehicle and run out of luck?

Then it doesn’t matter if, while you’re sleeping, you’re astral projection doesn’t come back

And your soul gets lost forever, looking and looking, but never get back on track?

Will it then matter if, while swimming for fun, you accidentally drown?

And no matter how they revive you, you remain unresponsive til you’re dead out in the sun?

I reckon it wouldn’t bother you, if one day soon you get heartbroken, lose hope and hang yourself?

And people who come to your funeral would say, “what a fool and coward, all he needed was help”?

While on break at work, and few minutes before a meeting, you decide to check the rooftop, the next minute you’re bleeding.

What a freak accident, a slip of the feet, the idiot that you are, fell down from a 20-story building and died in a heartbeat.

You’re such a heavy drinker, way back then, retribution’s not on your side and although you’ve since stopped,

Lighting a cigarette one rainy Saturday, you suddenly felt your heart pop and good as dead, you instantly drop?

You’ve seen and experienced quite a few crimes in your lifetime, but this day feels different and you wonder how come.

You went to the bank as you’ve always had but today somebody shot you, without warning, you were dead, oh, ain’t that sad?

There are countless other ways in which you may die.

But darling, I tell you, if someone had to kill you, I wish it was I.

Let me know where you want it, how you want it and when.

I will drop whatever I’m doing and rush to where you’re at, carrying my pen.

Do you want it swift and painless? Or slow and excruciating?

Oh, killing you will surely add to my life, some semblance of meaning.

Do you want me to strangle you after getting sedated?

Or shoot you with your own gun, with features you’ve always hated?

Do you want me to poison your coffee, your milk or your tea?

Or do you want me to make a video, to show it off on TV?

Do you want me to hurt you a little, here and there?

Or just cut your throat while I pull your hair?

Would you prefer that I do it while you’re happy as ever

While I look into your eyes and promise, “i will love you forever.”?

How would you want to die, dear? Please tell.

I know a little voo-doo, I can cast you a spell.

Tell me how you want it, tell me now before I leave

I’m sure killing you is the best thing I will ever achieve.

How do you want to die, dear? Come on now, do tell.

I’ll be more than happy to take you sooner to hell.

One response to “How Would You Want To Die, Dear?”

  1. Lovely! kinda hair-raising wishes.
    Too bad words truly can’t kill (when it written, of course).

    Like

Let me know what you think… :)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Me
Cecilia Regina Aquino Blanquera Marmol aka RJ Marmol profile picture

I’m RJ Marmol — writer, musician, and independent creator based in Manila.

I write songs, essays, and books about the messy overlap between money, overwhelm, creativity, identity, and rebuilding. Much of my work circles around what happens when life stops feeling manageable — and how we try to think clearly, make decisions, and keep moving anyway.

I’m also the author of Rebuilding Under Debt: Thinking Clearly When Everything Is a Blur, a nonfiction book published under Steady Hand Press. The paperback edition is listed under my full publishing name, Cecilia Regina Aquino Blanquera.

On the music side, I release work as HeyRJ. On the writing side, this site is where I gather my books, essays, notes, and whatever I’m building next.

Music

HeyRJ is my sonic soul project. I create raw, minimalist-style and deeply personal music interpretations that feel like a late-night conversation with your truest self.

By blending lo-fi acoustic textures with poetic honesty, my work explores love, loss, grief, healing, and the quiet in-betweens of life. Each song is a letter — a journal entry — a gentle companion for when the world feels too loud or too quiet.

While my catalogue began with intimate cover renditions, my work is increasingly being shaped by original writing, drawing from years of poems, lived questions, and emotional survival.

“Stuck Home Syndrome” released on March 20, 2026 is my first original 20-track album written during a period when time felt compressed and days began to blur into each other. The songs came from sitting with thoughts that had nowhere else to go — unfiltered, repetitive, and sometimes uncomfortable. It’s a concept album that isn’t built around singles or polish. It’s closer to a continuous inner monologue, recorded with minimal production and very little ornamentation and meant to be listened to as one cohesive body of work. The goal wasn’t to resolve anything, only to document how it felt while it was happening.

On May 29, 2026 I released new original singles – “Rapturous”, “Uh Huh”, “Look At You”, “All That” and “Blew Print”. I continue to release both original and cover songs and intend to so for as long as I can so check back every once in a while — you might. just find something you’ll like.

For business inquiries relating to music, email me at: heyrjmusic[at]gmail[dot]com or my personal email at: rjmarmol[at]gmail[dot]com.

Books

Rebuilding Under Debt: Thinking Clearly When Everything Is a Blur

A nonfiction book about what debt does to the mind — and how to begin functioning again when financial stress has made everything feel blurred, urgent, and overwhelming.

Rather than treating debt only as a financial math problem, the book explores the emotional and cognitive realities of financial distress: shame, decision fatigue, avoidance, panic, relationship strain, and the difficulty of making sound decisions while mentally depleted.

Published under Steady Hand Press. It’s available worldwide in ebook and paperback formats on Amazon. Bookstores and libraries can also be order it wholesale via Ingram.

Contact

For book-related inquiries, media requests, bookstore questions, or discussion-group invitations, you can reach me through the contact page on this site or send me an email to rjmarmol[at]gmail[dot]com or hello[at]steadyhandpress.com