The Case of the "Ex"


I dreaded writing or commenting about this. I knew a recurrence of hostility was possible in Mindanao even as peace talks are ongoing, but it never occured to me it will be this soon. As I was writing my last post “Winners and Losers“, I was oblivious of the brewing issue of evacuation in the affected towns of North Cotabato, starting with 16,000 and increasing to Winners and Losers“, I was oblivious of the brewing issue of evacuation in the affected towns of North Cotabato, starting with 16,000 and increasing to 80,000 as the last report says.

As it turns out, despite assurances of MILF leaders that they are willing to withdraw troops in affected areas  — which they rather call “repositioning“, they seem to have no “real” control of their troops. It’s either that or they’re just “playing” us all. This very moment that I write this post, there is consistent exchange of gunfire from the MILF and our government troops. The MILF admits to no fault while claiming that they were “repositioning” peacefully when some militiamen fired at them so they had no choice but to protect themselves. If this is true, it only proves how “taking up arms” by civilians is such a pain in the arse for the government! This peace process should be between two parties alone. A third “wheel” spoils everything! Indeed, whoever said “three’s a crowd” is a genius!

How can we move forward in this “wedding” of sorts (borrowing an analogy used by Abe Margallo on his article “What’s all the big fuss about the MoA-AD?” at Filipino Voices.com) if an “ex” keeps on barging in, obviously uninvited (damn gatecrashers..) — and shouts “stop the wedding! i’m pregnant!“? I mean, come on! Please. Guards, where are you? Somebody please take that “lady” and let’s get on with the ceremony. After all, if both “bride” and “groom” are committed to this “wedding” then no threat from an “ex” should stop a long-awaited “marriage“.

Note: The “ex” here refers to both militiamen (civilians who took up arms in defense of themselves – comprised of The CAFGU [Civilian Armed Forces Geographic Unit] and the CVO [Civilian Volunteers Organization] ) and the stubborn MILF subordinates frustrated and emotional of the TRO and who wouldn’t respect and obey their leaders’ orders.

The “ex“, upon seeing the MILF forces “repositioning” assumed “they were under attack“, thus the exchange of fire. Well, I say “what the hell?” Don’t these guys get informed of “developments”? Or at the very least, don’t they listen to public radio? How can we be capable of talking peace when we can’t even communicate the simplest instructions without incurring mistakes or misinterpreting information? Good God!

What’s worse is that this is currently happening in a mostly-Christian-dominated town who doesn’t have anything to do with the hostilities there. Why do civilians always have to pay the price? We are waging an unnecessary war here! These guys (the “ex”) are derailing the peace process. And the way I see it — no mind-reading necessary — whatever it is that they want (which motivates them to do this) is anything but peace. They are no more than “trigger-happy” bandits who have no respect for the rule of law, much less for themselves. The government must know what to do with these people.

Which prompts me to recall an event: On April 7, 1865, with the Civil War raging, Lincoln needed to communicate with one of his generals on the front lines. His credibility as president — and the country’s future — hung in the balance. He wanted his message to inspire, but also to be clear. Here’s what he wrote:

Lieut. Gen. Grant,
Gen. Sheridan says, “If the thing is pressed, I think Lee will surrender.
Let the thing be pressed.
Lincoln

PGMA is still in Beijing and will be back Monday morning even as Timor Leste President arrives here today. I wonder what instruction she gave her generals. If I were president, I’d second Lincoln (not because he is Lincoln, but because his was a wise decision conveyed with such brevity and wit) and tell them, “Let the thing be pressed.” And this is coming from a peace advocate.

Meantime, as we fight local insurgency here, war has broken in Georgia’s South Ossetia — another problem with “separatism“. But that’s a different story altogether. Peace is definitely the most elusive luxury in the world.

One response to “The Case of the "Ex"”

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About Me
Cecilia Regina Aquino Blanquera Marmol aka RJ Marmol profile picture

I’m RJ Marmol — writer, musician, and independent creator based in Manila.

I write songs, essays, and books about the messy overlap between money, overwhelm, creativity, identity, and rebuilding. Much of my work circles around what happens when life stops feeling manageable — and how we try to think clearly, make decisions, and keep moving anyway.

I’m also the author of Rebuilding Under Debt: Thinking Clearly When Everything Is a Blur, a nonfiction book published under Steady Hand Press. The paperback edition is listed under my full publishing name, Cecilia Regina Aquino Blanquera.

On the music side, I release work as HeyRJ. On the writing side, this site is where I gather my books, essays, notes, and whatever I’m building next.

Music

HeyRJ is my sonic soul project. I create raw, minimalist-style and deeply personal music interpretations that feel like a late-night conversation with your truest self.

By blending lo-fi acoustic textures with poetic honesty, my work explores love, loss, grief, healing, and the quiet in-betweens of life. Each song is a letter — a journal entry — a gentle companion for when the world feels too loud or too quiet.

While my catalogue began with intimate cover renditions, my work is increasingly being shaped by original writing, drawing from years of poems, lived questions, and emotional survival.

“Stuck Home Syndrome” released on March 20, 2026 is my first original 20-track album written during a period when time felt compressed and days began to blur into each other. The songs came from sitting with thoughts that had nowhere else to go — unfiltered, repetitive, and sometimes uncomfortable. It’s a concept album that isn’t built around singles or polish. It’s closer to a continuous inner monologue, recorded with minimal production and very little ornamentation and meant to be listened to as one cohesive body of work. The goal wasn’t to resolve anything, only to document how it felt while it was happening.

On May 29, 2026 I released new original singles – “Rapturous”, “Uh Huh”, “Look At You”, “All That” and “Blew Print”. I continue to release both original and cover songs and intend to so for as long as I can so check back every once in a while — you might. just find something you’ll like.

For business inquiries relating to music, email me at: heyrjmusic[at]gmail[dot]com or my personal email at: rjmarmol[at]gmail[dot]com.

Books

Rebuilding Under Debt: Thinking Clearly When Everything Is a Blur

A nonfiction book about what debt does to the mind — and how to begin functioning again when financial stress has made everything feel blurred, urgent, and overwhelming.

Rather than treating debt only as a financial math problem, the book explores the emotional and cognitive realities of financial distress: shame, decision fatigue, avoidance, panic, relationship strain, and the difficulty of making sound decisions while mentally depleted.

Published under Steady Hand Press. It’s available worldwide in ebook and paperback formats on Amazon. Bookstores and libraries can also be order it wholesale via Ingram.

Contact

For book-related inquiries, media requests, bookstore questions, or discussion-group invitations, you can reach me through the contact page on this site or send me an email to rjmarmol[at]gmail[dot]com or hello[at]steadyhandpress.com